Love Actually

“When I was in high school, there seemed to be a stigma revolving around students with
developmental disabilities and being in romantic relationships,” said Out & About Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist (CTRS) Brittany Weissman. “I remember typical students would poke fun at students with disabilities who had crushes on others, and in turn, made them feel bad. So, in a way, they are informed by their influencers that they shouldn’t have feelings like that. But they should, and they do.”

Since 2017, Imagine!’s Out & About adult services have facilitated an activity called Love Actually, a practical, social experience for participants who want to learn more about relationships of all kinds. “This is a space for adults with developmental disabilities to learn about not only how to love themselves, but how to build lasting relationships with others,” commented Out & About CTRS Bridget Heddens.

“We saw there was a need for this type of activity,” said Out & About Program Manager Elena Ciaravino. “The theme of ‘navigating relationships’ came up a lot when talking with the individuals who use our services, and we pride ourselves on offering activities that our participants want.”

According to Board Certified Behavior Analyst Ryan Bable: “Being loved and having these
relationships is a hallmark of humanity, and one that should not be excluded from certain groups of people! It is all about teaching the best ways to approach this so that those relationships can actually occur.”

Out & About’s class tackles this subject head on, empowering participants with skills and experiences to independently build relationships. Here are a few examples of lessons taught during Love Actually:

Social Media Safety and Privacy – participants learned privacy settings and etiquette on Facebook and other social media sites in order to reduce vulnerability, and practiced how to respond to strangers who message them.

Gender – A representative from Out Boulder visited to speak about the LGBTQ community and how love looks different for each and every one of us.

Online Dating – Participants logged on to Special Bridge, an online social community for people with mental and physical disabilities. They made profiles and practiced navigating through the site.

Practice Dating – Participants went on practice dinner dates with their peers, practicing eye contact, conversation starters, and etiquette.

Role Playing – Participants acted out scenarios to help them learn about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Every class allows a space for open sharing, asking questions, and expressing feelings about relationships and love. Self-love has been an emphasized theme as well, giving all participants a moment to express themselves without the influence of others. “In order to love someone else, you have to learn how to love yourself,” said Bridget. Participants are encouraged to look inward and discover what they love about themselves, and what they can contribute to a relationship.

“If we don’t have the necessary tools to build lasting relationships, life can feel very lonely and isolating,” said Bridget. “With a class like Love Actually, the participants are allowed to ask questions and practice these skills in a safe environment, free from judgment.”

Out & About staff members have noticed an increase in open sharing and inquiry, not just in the Love Actually class, but in other classes as well. More participants now feel comfortable with voicing their feelings about love and relationships, and have realized it’s okay to talk about it.

“The class can seem tricky and tough to teach,” said Bridget. “But once everyone in the room has an open mind, discussions and lessons become simple, because at the end of the day, we all just want to be loved.”